Lessons from Fashion

Yesterday night I watched the movie Fashion. And I was simply bowled over by it. I found everybody's performance superb, the music was great and the direction awesome. But this is not a movie review. Instead, I very much empathized with the protagonist, Meghna Mathur, and realized that there were lessons to be learnt (even though everything out there was fictional).

Like the protagonist, I have experienced highs and terrible lows in a short span of last one year. The good run started with me purchasing a bike last September. I then secured an admission in MS program @ IIT-D. My driving skills vastly improved; I made a good start to MS program and secured a decent GPA in the first semester, managed my finances well to buy a good laptop, wrote two great back to back skits for KalaKriti (even after one of them got rejected for stage enactment). Life could not have been better. It was perfect. I planned and things fell in place perfectly.

And then came the downturn in my life. I was caught unaware and have since been reeling from it. Around mid July, I unknowingly injured myself and could not raise my left hand even till shoulder level. A few weeks later, I could walk only with a horrible limp and sometimes needed support from others. Few other events could be more devastating for a person than sitting on a wheelchair at the age of 25 and being pushed around by a 55 year old father. And this was just the beginning. I rejoined office. Gaurav left the company, and the already delayed project sagged further. I made extremely slow progress with my MS course work and got near zero results despite sincere efforts. What's more, my laptop and even my clothes iron stopped working. It felt like my life had been jinxed. Repeated failures at my technical tasks, deviations from achievable timelines and lack of valid explanations for the failures further punctured my confidence, if any was left.

This is where the film touched me the most. The protagonist was completely devastated by the turn of events and her loss of control over her life. Her shattered confidence did not allow her to pursue anything. Only with the encouragement of her near and dear ones, was she able to return to her line of work. She had to start from scratch, face embarrassing situations, in terms of facing people whom she had let down or who had let her down. Despite these, and the personal and professional failures that she encounters once again, she perseveres and does not get bogged down. My confidence has not been shattered but it felt like I was heading at a steady pace to that critical point. At points I did consider the option of giving up my job and / or MS course work. My parents' daily words of encouragement helped in my sagging morale not deflating further, but nothing more. Lack of any harsh response from my colleagues or professors at my failures just added to the guilt. I knew that I was on my way down.

Surprisingly, a film taught me lessons, that I had heard umpteen times and could otherwise recite any time of the day but did not understand. I just had to give my 100 % at anything I did. Success or failure should not upset me. Getting upset would only make matters worse. Of course it is humanely impossible not to get upset, but you can help yourself lighten the impact. In retrospection, I can now say that the last few months might have been the worst yet, but they were worth it.

Finally, I can recall a conversation I had with Phanindra. I dont remember the context but I happened to say, "I am at the worst point of my life. Things cant get worse than this." To which he instantly replied, "Thats good for you. It means things can only get better. Good time is round the corner." The good time has come. Amen.