When we reached the 8th class, our teachers congratulated that we had become adolescents. The word sounded esoteric and did not make sense. These lines were a small step in understanding and appreciating what adolescence was all about:
Why are grown ups so crazy?
When we do some work,
Then also they say, we are lazy.
They always want us to study,
When we want to play games,
And spend some time with our buddy.
When we burn our garments while ironing,
We are careless,
And get a big scolding.
When the same thing grown ups do,
It is not their fault,
They have a lot of things to do.
When we go out to often,
We are loafing around,
Once caught the grown ups do not soften.
When grown ups attend parties frequently,
They can’t help it,
As socializing is a necessity.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
The world through a pair of magic spectacles
I wrote this poem in the 8th class and got my first ever A grade in an English composition. It was that A grade and my parents encouragement that got me started on the path of writing. Since then, I have written several stories / articles - several of which are miserable, I agree. But anyways, the course of history cannot be changed and so here is that poem...
Looking through a pair of magic spectacles,
I saw a man having a lunch of turtles.
The lion piloted the aeroplane,
The six month old drove the car like a hurricane.
Maradona hit a huge six,
Jackson singing classical music got into a fix.
The teacher gave 100 marks for a blank paper,
My father got me a big box of chocolates and wafers.
Kapil Dev was the first to step on a moon,
In the poster, Narasimha Rao held a broom.
Morarji Desai completed his one year,
The dead man drank rum and beer.
The water on heating changed into ice,
For breakfast, I got jam and rice.
I saw a man having a dinner of turtles,
It was fun wearing a pair of magic spectacles.
Looking through a pair of magic spectacles,
I saw a man having a lunch of turtles.
The lion piloted the aeroplane,
The six month old drove the car like a hurricane.
Maradona hit a huge six,
Jackson singing classical music got into a fix.
The teacher gave 100 marks for a blank paper,
My father got me a big box of chocolates and wafers.
Kapil Dev was the first to step on a moon,
In the poster, Narasimha Rao held a broom.
Morarji Desai completed his one year,
The dead man drank rum and beer.
The water on heating changed into ice,
For breakfast, I got jam and rice.
I saw a man having a dinner of turtles,
It was fun wearing a pair of magic spectacles.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Shishir's kavita @ Aarohan' 09
Few lines by Shishir for his poem based "Pehchaan Kaun?" game round:
शांत, स्थिर, उदार, गंभीर ,
दिखूं जैसे कोई महात्मा या हो पीर |
कार्यस्थल पर सतत लगा रहूँ,
एक्स्ट्रा कर्रिकुलर में भी मदद किया करूँ |
vision ग्रुप में है मेरा बोल बाला,
थोडा सा हूँ गुस्सैल, पर हूँ अच्चे मन वाला | "
-- शुभकामनाओं सहित
शिशिर
शांत, स्थिर, उदार, गंभीर ,
दिखूं जैसे कोई महात्मा या हो पीर |
कार्यस्थल पर सतत लगा रहूँ,
एक्स्ट्रा कर्रिकुलर में भी मदद किया करूँ |
vision ग्रुप में है मेरा बोल बाला,
थोडा सा हूँ गुस्सैल, पर हूँ अच्चे मन वाला | "
-- शुभकामनाओं सहित
शिशिर
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Super ego
I have always considered myself to be an average student. Even, if concepts used to bounce off my head, I would diligently attend classes, hoping that one day lightning would strike and I would be enlightened. Clearing exams never used to be a issue. Rather, the major headache used to be with securing an A grade.
However, the foundations of this misconception (of being an avg student) were jolted when I enrolled for MS Research program at IIT Delhi. Every course that I have done over the past 3 semesters demonstrated how woefully ill-prepared I was for the courses. And that too, after having graduated from one of the premiere institutes of the nation. It was not just the lack of concepts, which is still excusable. Rather, it was the absence of appreciation of the fundamentals and inability to apply these during problem solving.
During the last semester, I did a course on Advanced Algorithms. The course instructor was Dr. Naveen Garg; and his style of teaching was just awesome. In fact, attending has classes has rekindled an interest in Algorithms and Data structures (subjects, I used to stay away from). Unlike several other profs. who taught by rote, he used to actually work out the algorithms / derivations in the class. Several times he would get stuck during a derivation; he would ask us for our inputs and collectively we tried to figure things out. And when we were really stuck, he would say that it's time to "cheat"; he would refer the textbook and we would proceed.
The best part, though, were the exams. Every time, I was able to attempt only a maximum of 50% of the questions, but it used to be gratifying. The questions really tested your grasp of concepts and required clever jugglery of ideas. However, attempting half the paper does not translate into equal ratio of marks. In fact, in the minor exams, I was able to secure at best 35% marks.
I started having nightmares of whether I would clear the course or not. I badly wanted to clear the course since I was sick of my semi-weekly visits to IIT for attending classes. I did not want to continue with the same hectic schedule for another semester. But more importantly, I have never failed a course in my entire life! I just could not let myself fail. My ego would not allow it. My super ego, which had been pampered by undeserving grades secured through uncompetitive exams, could not have taken it.
Fortunately, I got this realization quite early and tried to address the problem from multiple directions. On the one hand, I started mentally preparing for the worst and on the other hand, I started preparing a strategy to ensure that I cleared the paper. Strategy part of the preparation included identifying which subject areas to focus on, how much time to devote on a question, how to present if I am not able to work out the solution etc.
Luckily, I scored well in the majors - relative to class and my previous standings. However, there was this feeling that I did not do justice to the subject. I prepared a contingency plan and thankfully it worked out. Today, I am not confident that I will be able to attempt and solve some of the same questions, even after refreshing my concepts. My ego, though not as bruised as had I failed, has certainly been bumped. I plan to and certainly will work on my basics (including 12th class mathematics) and aim to reach a level where I am brazenly confident. Till then, I would rather continue preparing and reminding myself of the fact that I am a failure who has been lucky until now.
However, the foundations of this misconception (of being an avg student) were jolted when I enrolled for MS Research program at IIT Delhi. Every course that I have done over the past 3 semesters demonstrated how woefully ill-prepared I was for the courses. And that too, after having graduated from one of the premiere institutes of the nation. It was not just the lack of concepts, which is still excusable. Rather, it was the absence of appreciation of the fundamentals and inability to apply these during problem solving.
During the last semester, I did a course on Advanced Algorithms. The course instructor was Dr. Naveen Garg; and his style of teaching was just awesome. In fact, attending has classes has rekindled an interest in Algorithms and Data structures (subjects, I used to stay away from). Unlike several other profs. who taught by rote, he used to actually work out the algorithms / derivations in the class. Several times he would get stuck during a derivation; he would ask us for our inputs and collectively we tried to figure things out. And when we were really stuck, he would say that it's time to "cheat"; he would refer the textbook and we would proceed.
The best part, though, were the exams. Every time, I was able to attempt only a maximum of 50% of the questions, but it used to be gratifying. The questions really tested your grasp of concepts and required clever jugglery of ideas. However, attempting half the paper does not translate into equal ratio of marks. In fact, in the minor exams, I was able to secure at best 35% marks.
I started having nightmares of whether I would clear the course or not. I badly wanted to clear the course since I was sick of my semi-weekly visits to IIT for attending classes. I did not want to continue with the same hectic schedule for another semester. But more importantly, I have never failed a course in my entire life! I just could not let myself fail. My ego would not allow it. My super ego, which had been pampered by undeserving grades secured through uncompetitive exams, could not have taken it.
Fortunately, I got this realization quite early and tried to address the problem from multiple directions. On the one hand, I started mentally preparing for the worst and on the other hand, I started preparing a strategy to ensure that I cleared the paper. Strategy part of the preparation included identifying which subject areas to focus on, how much time to devote on a question, how to present if I am not able to work out the solution etc.
Luckily, I scored well in the majors - relative to class and my previous standings. However, there was this feeling that I did not do justice to the subject. I prepared a contingency plan and thankfully it worked out. Today, I am not confident that I will be able to attempt and solve some of the same questions, even after refreshing my concepts. My ego, though not as bruised as had I failed, has certainly been bumped. I plan to and certainly will work on my basics (including 12th class mathematics) and aim to reach a level where I am brazenly confident. Till then, I would rather continue preparing and reminding myself of the fact that I am a failure who has been lucky until now.
Monday, July 27, 2009
The night it rained
After weeks of listening and reading about northern India reeling under a drought, I finally hit the monsoon. Or rather it hit me and it hit me hard. Yesterday was an eventful evening that I wont easily forget; the unrelenting fury of the rain gods, me going down the drain - literally, the beautiful view from balony of lightning shedding light followed by darkness and then light again.
Yesterday, when I started packing my bag, Tarun asked, "How come you are leaving so early?". I replied back that since Phani is not around, I have the freedom to leave early. Just before stepping out, Ashwani asked whether it was still raining. I said that it was drizzling a little. While cleaning the bike, I wondered, had Phani been around, we would have debated whether or not to wait till the drizzling stopped, and probably would have waited. Rather than relating the ominous cues, I considered myself lucky and drove off towards Andhra mess for dinner.
I had to cover a 2 kms stretch having 2 traffic lights to reach the Mess. The first traffic light was manned by a policeman who kept us waiting for almost 15 minutes. During that time, the intensity of rain increased considerably. I was lucky to be under a protrusion of the under construction metro line. And when it was time to move, I ensured I stayed under the metro line. Things were fine until I reached the second cross roads, where I had to move away from the metro line's shield. In the two minutes drive from there, I was completely drenched.
Worse was when I had to park the bike. All the usual parking locations were either already occupied or clogged with water. I saw an empty location and headed towards it. Thud! The front portion of the bike had landed in a 2 feet deep pit. Funnily though, I cannot recall the exact sequence of events. I remember somebody shouting as I was reached near the pit. I also seemed to have switched off the lights or the engine died on its own. Either ways, both my bike and I were submerged in the pit. Somebody rushed over to help me out. Both of us pulled out the bike and I parked it at a safer location.
I finished my dinner quickly and decided to head back for home. Even though the rain was pounding, I was already drenched and I wanted to reach home asap. Thanks to the wonderful drainage system here in Noida, almost the entire 2 km stretch was clogged with nearly 1 feet of water. What's worse, the wind god seemed to have joined the rain god in the merry making; there would be a sudden gust of wind and water would hit your face with full blast head on!
Finally, I reached home and for a change considered myself lucky that there was no electricity. Being drenched for an extended period of time gives me a very creepy feeling; I hate the sensation of wet clothes sticking to me. I stripped off completely and remained in such a state for several minutes. Changing into a dry and warm dress, I settled in the balcony. Lightning kept occurring for the next 30 mins and presented one of the most beautiful views. There would be a sudden dazzling flash of light, followed by darkness and then another round of light flashing. The absence of electricity rendered an eerie yet stunningly attractive feel.
Today morning, the weather was ominously serene. I ensured that I had my valuable and much needed rain coat. Yesterday, I was foolish enough to prematurely consider myself lucky. Today, I am being foolish again to dare the rain gods for another round. I am game for Round II.
Yesterday, when I started packing my bag, Tarun asked, "How come you are leaving so early?". I replied back that since Phani is not around, I have the freedom to leave early. Just before stepping out, Ashwani asked whether it was still raining. I said that it was drizzling a little. While cleaning the bike, I wondered, had Phani been around, we would have debated whether or not to wait till the drizzling stopped, and probably would have waited. Rather than relating the ominous cues, I considered myself lucky and drove off towards Andhra mess for dinner.
I had to cover a 2 kms stretch having 2 traffic lights to reach the Mess. The first traffic light was manned by a policeman who kept us waiting for almost 15 minutes. During that time, the intensity of rain increased considerably. I was lucky to be under a protrusion of the under construction metro line. And when it was time to move, I ensured I stayed under the metro line. Things were fine until I reached the second cross roads, where I had to move away from the metro line's shield. In the two minutes drive from there, I was completely drenched.
Worse was when I had to park the bike. All the usual parking locations were either already occupied or clogged with water. I saw an empty location and headed towards it. Thud! The front portion of the bike had landed in a 2 feet deep pit. Funnily though, I cannot recall the exact sequence of events. I remember somebody shouting as I was reached near the pit. I also seemed to have switched off the lights or the engine died on its own. Either ways, both my bike and I were submerged in the pit. Somebody rushed over to help me out. Both of us pulled out the bike and I parked it at a safer location.
I finished my dinner quickly and decided to head back for home. Even though the rain was pounding, I was already drenched and I wanted to reach home asap. Thanks to the wonderful drainage system here in Noida, almost the entire 2 km stretch was clogged with nearly 1 feet of water. What's worse, the wind god seemed to have joined the rain god in the merry making; there would be a sudden gust of wind and water would hit your face with full blast head on!
Finally, I reached home and for a change considered myself lucky that there was no electricity. Being drenched for an extended period of time gives me a very creepy feeling; I hate the sensation of wet clothes sticking to me. I stripped off completely and remained in such a state for several minutes. Changing into a dry and warm dress, I settled in the balcony. Lightning kept occurring for the next 30 mins and presented one of the most beautiful views. There would be a sudden dazzling flash of light, followed by darkness and then another round of light flashing. The absence of electricity rendered an eerie yet stunningly attractive feel.
Today morning, the weather was ominously serene. I ensured that I had my valuable and much needed rain coat. Yesterday, I was foolish enough to prematurely consider myself lucky. Today, I am being foolish again to dare the rain gods for another round. I am game for Round II.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Baby's day out
Yesterday was one hell of a day. It was not meant to be, but since some people love to gorge on good food and believe in celebrating Friday for some inexplicable reasons, the day turned out to be an eventful one.
The day started when I woke up at 3:30 in the morning, snoozed my alarm and went back to sleep. This was the last of my three unsuccessful attempts, in as many days, to wake up early in the morning and prepare for my exam. Of course, my attempt to wake up early and read did not end so tamely. I woke up at 4:30 / slept / woke up at 5:30 / slept again / finally, woke up at 6:30.
Later in the day at IIT, outside the exam venue, I did something unusual. I started muttering to myself that I know all concepts and that I will do well in the exam. My parents had been to a workshop on leadership and positive thinking organized by the Teach India group. My parents did tasks which are otherwise considered impossible. Probably, I recalled this and started boosting myself. The exam went relatively well considering that I was pretty hopeless just few hours before.
Once back in office, I was tired and was not in a mood to work. And so was the case with everybody else. By the time I came to office, a plan for an outing had been hatched. "We" would leave early, go to some place good and down a few drinks along with good food. I was not part of the "we" since I am not crazy about good food, had never taken a drink and was tired enough to drive back on my own. I was about to drop out but thankfully I did not act as my usual foolish self. Everything was set, except that there was no consensus on where to go.
Finally, the six of us hit the road on 4 vehicles: Vaibhav / Prachi in a car, Dhruvan / Prayag in another one, Sidharth in his and me on my bike. Even before we crossed over to Delhi there was a change of plans to which only Vaibhav / Prachi were privy. Everybody else followed Vaibhav blindly to realize that he had taken us to his home. We met Vaibhav's mother, wasted 15 minutes discussing whether to order Pizzas / drinks or go out somewhere. Fortunately, we headed of to Big Chill after having few pakoras prepared by aunty.
On our way to Big Chill we picked up few beer cans. Everybody opened a can for themself and I was handed one. Even though I protested that I had to drive back and had never drunk before, Vaibhav / Prachi and Prayag persisted. It felt like parents encouraging a baby to keep peddling and not to worry about falling of a cycle. The irony: I was the eldest among them all! I finally opened my can, we toasted to my first beer and I took my first sip. And man! It was awful!.
Outside Big Chill, everybody moved on to their second or even third can. I with great difficulty finished my share of the horribly tasting liquid. I was amazed at several things: (a) how could the others drink so much beer without getting high, (b) more importantly, without throwing up considering the awful taste, (c) at the breadth and depth of knowledge about beverages that everybody else had.
We then entered Big Chill and ordered some extremely delicious desserts and pizzas. The thin crust pizzas were awesome and all the chocolate desserts were just mind blowing! But good food is relished when there is good company and an entertaining discussion. We had lots of it except that I can't recall all of it ;). It revolved around drinks, calories, Prayag and him going to an aptly named place called Helsinki and of course some fine taunts to Sud. We finished our last delicious desert and left Big Chill.
The six of us packed ourselves into a single car. Or rather, it was Prachi / Prayag / Dhruvan and Sidharth in the back seat. Vaibhav and I sat comfortably in the front :). We drove off to Gupta market where Prachi / Prayag got down. We came back to Big Chill and Dhruvan left in his car. We then came back to Vaibhav's house where Sidharth's and my vehicles had been left earlier. After greeting Kanu, we should have left immediately except that Sud felt thirsty. Whats worse, he took the glass of water and settled down. Reluctantly, I too took a seat and some discussion started between Kanu, aunty and the three of us. Few embarrasing moments followed, with Sud imposing himself on the discussion. Fortunately, Vaibhav's father came in and I took the opportunity to stand up to greet him and also leave.
After memorizing the route, back to Noida, for the umpteenth time, I bid adieu to Kanu and Vaibhav and left. I did not seem to have deviated from the path since I did hit ring road and was back at home. I messaged Prachi / Prayag and Vaibhav that I was back in one piece and got immediate replies from everybody. Finally, I went to bed, uttered a "Wov!", closed my eyes and dozed off. One of the best days had passed by.
The day started when I woke up at 3:30 in the morning, snoozed my alarm and went back to sleep. This was the last of my three unsuccessful attempts, in as many days, to wake up early in the morning and prepare for my exam. Of course, my attempt to wake up early and read did not end so tamely. I woke up at 4:30 / slept / woke up at 5:30 / slept again / finally, woke up at 6:30.
Later in the day at IIT, outside the exam venue, I did something unusual. I started muttering to myself that I know all concepts and that I will do well in the exam. My parents had been to a workshop on leadership and positive thinking organized by the Teach India group. My parents did tasks which are otherwise considered impossible. Probably, I recalled this and started boosting myself. The exam went relatively well considering that I was pretty hopeless just few hours before.
Once back in office, I was tired and was not in a mood to work. And so was the case with everybody else. By the time I came to office, a plan for an outing had been hatched. "We" would leave early, go to some place good and down a few drinks along with good food. I was not part of the "we" since I am not crazy about good food, had never taken a drink and was tired enough to drive back on my own. I was about to drop out but thankfully I did not act as my usual foolish self. Everything was set, except that there was no consensus on where to go.
Finally, the six of us hit the road on 4 vehicles: Vaibhav / Prachi in a car, Dhruvan / Prayag in another one, Sidharth in his and me on my bike. Even before we crossed over to Delhi there was a change of plans to which only Vaibhav / Prachi were privy. Everybody else followed Vaibhav blindly to realize that he had taken us to his home. We met Vaibhav's mother, wasted 15 minutes discussing whether to order Pizzas / drinks or go out somewhere. Fortunately, we headed of to Big Chill after having few pakoras prepared by aunty.
On our way to Big Chill we picked up few beer cans. Everybody opened a can for themself and I was handed one. Even though I protested that I had to drive back and had never drunk before, Vaibhav / Prachi and Prayag persisted. It felt like parents encouraging a baby to keep peddling and not to worry about falling of a cycle. The irony: I was the eldest among them all! I finally opened my can, we toasted to my first beer and I took my first sip. And man! It was awful!.
Outside Big Chill, everybody moved on to their second or even third can. I with great difficulty finished my share of the horribly tasting liquid. I was amazed at several things: (a) how could the others drink so much beer without getting high, (b) more importantly, without throwing up considering the awful taste, (c) at the breadth and depth of knowledge about beverages that everybody else had.
We then entered Big Chill and ordered some extremely delicious desserts and pizzas. The thin crust pizzas were awesome and all the chocolate desserts were just mind blowing! But good food is relished when there is good company and an entertaining discussion. We had lots of it except that I can't recall all of it ;). It revolved around drinks, calories, Prayag and him going to an aptly named place called Helsinki and of course some fine taunts to Sud. We finished our last delicious desert and left Big Chill.
The six of us packed ourselves into a single car. Or rather, it was Prachi / Prayag / Dhruvan and Sidharth in the back seat. Vaibhav and I sat comfortably in the front :). We drove off to Gupta market where Prachi / Prayag got down. We came back to Big Chill and Dhruvan left in his car. We then came back to Vaibhav's house where Sidharth's and my vehicles had been left earlier. After greeting Kanu, we should have left immediately except that Sud felt thirsty. Whats worse, he took the glass of water and settled down. Reluctantly, I too took a seat and some discussion started between Kanu, aunty and the three of us. Few embarrasing moments followed, with Sud imposing himself on the discussion. Fortunately, Vaibhav's father came in and I took the opportunity to stand up to greet him and also leave.
After memorizing the route, back to Noida, for the umpteenth time, I bid adieu to Kanu and Vaibhav and left. I did not seem to have deviated from the path since I did hit ring road and was back at home. I messaged Prachi / Prayag and Vaibhav that I was back in one piece and got immediate replies from everybody. Finally, I went to bed, uttered a "Wov!", closed my eyes and dozed off. One of the best days had passed by.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Hurray! nothing Works!
If you are wondering whether I have gone crazy, then you are quite right. Day before yesterday I had a very disturbed sleep. The only thoughts circulating in my mind were: first, whether I will be able to answer the volley of questions asked by the panel; second and more importantly, how will I convince the panel that I did put in genuine hard work but could not get any results.
Confused! Let me put matters in context. I had enrolled for an Independent Study project under Dr. Banerjee. Despite my best possible efforts under the various time and energy constraints, I got no results whatsoever. Zilch! Yesterday, I went to IIT prepared for the worst. There were other dual degree / B. Tech students making last minute changes to their code / presentations. All of us wrote our names, batchwise, on a paper. I was told there would be certain ordering in which names would be called out. As per that ordering, I was to be the last to present.
M. Tech students finish giving their presentations. Time for B. Tech students to present; but my name gets called out. I start the presentation and quickly move over to explain Kruppa equation and Modulus constraint methods. Thanx to Phani, I included these at the last minute. I tell that I implemented all methods but failed; also give some insight into why I failed. Fortunately, Dr. Banerjee is supportive. He tells that for the methods explored, it was more or less expected. Best part, the other profs in the panel dont ask much questions. Dr. Banerjee is also impressed with my presentation style (slideshow wise). Whats more, he remarks, that this is good work for an independent study. That made my day. I had got nothing to show, but things still worked out pretty well.
But what happened after that, was quite unexpected. Almost all students get “flayed” for not putting in good effort. Even though it did not matter much to me, it did make me realize how lucky I was. God seems to have graced me during the presentation, even though I would have really appreciated if He had graced me earlier too ;). Anyways the good part is that semester is over and I will get a much needed break. I am not bothered about what grade I get. Immediate goal is to get some results and do justice to Dr. Banerjee’s faith and support.
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