The night it rained

After weeks of listening and reading about northern India reeling under a drought, I finally hit the monsoon. Or rather it hit me and it hit me hard. Yesterday was an eventful evening that I wont easily forget; the unrelenting fury of the rain gods, me going down the drain - literally, the beautiful view from balony of lightning shedding light followed by darkness and then light again.

Yesterday, when I started packing my bag, Tarun asked, "How come you are leaving so early?". I replied back that since Phani is not around, I have the freedom to leave early. Just before stepping out, Ashwani asked whether it was still raining. I said that it was drizzling a little. While cleaning the bike, I wondered, had Phani been around, we would have debated whether or not to wait till the drizzling stopped, and probably would have waited. Rather than relating the ominous cues, I considered myself lucky and drove off towards Andhra mess for dinner.

I had to cover a 2 kms stretch having 2 traffic lights to reach the Mess. The first traffic light was manned by a policeman who kept us waiting for almost 15 minutes. During that time, the intensity of rain increased considerably. I was lucky to be under a protrusion of the under construction metro line. And when it was time to move, I ensured I stayed under the metro line. Things were fine until I reached the second cross roads, where I had to move away from the metro line's shield. In the two minutes drive from there, I was completely drenched.

Worse was when I had to park the bike. All the usual parking locations were either already occupied or clogged with water. I saw an empty location and headed towards it. Thud! The front portion of the bike had landed in a 2 feet deep pit. Funnily though, I cannot recall the exact sequence of events. I remember somebody shouting as I was reached near the pit. I also seemed to have switched off the lights or the engine died on its own. Either ways, both my bike and I were submerged in the pit. Somebody rushed over to help me out. Both of us pulled out the bike and I parked it at a safer location.

I finished my dinner quickly and decided to head back for home. Even though the rain was pounding, I was already drenched and I wanted to reach home asap. Thanks to the wonderful drainage system here in Noida, almost the entire 2 km stretch was clogged with nearly 1 feet of water. What's worse, the wind god seemed to have joined the rain god in the merry making; there would be a sudden gust of wind and water would hit your face with full blast head on!

Finally, I reached home and for a change considered myself lucky that there was no electricity. Being drenched for an extended period of time gives me a very creepy feeling; I hate the sensation of wet clothes sticking to me. I stripped off completely and remained in such a state for several minutes. Changing into a dry and warm dress, I settled in the balcony. Lightning kept occurring for the next 30 mins and presented one of the most beautiful views. There would be a sudden dazzling flash of light, followed by darkness and then another round of light flashing. The absence of electricity rendered an eerie yet stunningly attractive feel.

Today morning, the weather was ominously serene. I ensured that I had my valuable and much needed rain coat. Yesterday, I was foolish enough to prematurely consider myself lucky. Today, I am being foolish again to dare the rain gods for another round. I am game for Round II.

Baby's day out

Yesterday was one hell of a day. It was not meant to be, but since some people love to gorge on good food and believe in celebrating Friday for some inexplicable reasons, the day turned out to be an eventful one.

The day started when I woke up at 3:30 in the morning, snoozed my alarm and went back to sleep. This was the last of my three unsuccessful attempts, in as many days, to wake up early in the morning and prepare for my exam. Of course, my attempt to wake up early and read did not end so tamely. I woke up at 4:30 / slept / woke up at 5:30 / slept again / finally, woke up at 6:30.

Later in the day at IIT, outside the exam venue, I did something unusual. I started muttering to myself that I know all concepts and that I will do well in the exam. My parents had been to a workshop on leadership and positive thinking organized by the Teach India group. My parents did tasks which are otherwise considered impossible. Probably, I recalled this and started boosting myself. The exam went relatively well considering that I was pretty hopeless just few hours before.

Once back in office, I was tired and was not in a mood to work. And so was the case with everybody else. By the time I came to office, a plan for an outing had been hatched. "We" would leave early, go to some place good and down a few drinks along with good food. I was not part of the "we" since I am not crazy about good food, had never taken a drink and was tired enough to drive back on my own. I was about to drop out but thankfully I did not act as my usual foolish self. Everything was set, except that there was no consensus on where to go.

Finally, the six of us hit the road on 4 vehicles: Vaibhav / Prachi in a car, Dhruvan / Prayag in another one, Sidharth in his and me on my bike. Even before we crossed over to Delhi there was a change of plans to which only Vaibhav / Prachi were privy. Everybody else followed Vaibhav blindly to realize that he had taken us to his home. We met Vaibhav's mother, wasted 15 minutes discussing whether to order Pizzas / drinks or go out somewhere. Fortunately, we headed of to Big Chill after having few pakoras prepared by aunty.

On our way to Big Chill we picked up few beer cans. Everybody opened a can for themself and I was handed one. Even though I protested that I had to drive back and had never drunk before, Vaibhav / Prachi and Prayag persisted. It felt like parents encouraging a baby to keep peddling and not to worry about falling of a cycle. The irony: I was the eldest among them all! I finally opened my can, we toasted to my first beer and I took my first sip. And man! It was awful!.

Outside Big Chill, everybody moved on to their second or even third can. I with great difficulty finished my share of the horribly tasting liquid. I was amazed at several things: (a) how could the others drink so much beer without getting high, (b) more importantly, without throwing up considering the awful taste, (c) at the breadth and depth of knowledge about beverages that everybody else had.

We then entered Big Chill and ordered some extremely delicious desserts and pizzas. The thin crust pizzas were awesome and all the chocolate desserts were just mind blowing! But good food is relished when there is good company and an entertaining discussion. We had lots of it except that I can't recall all of it ;). It revolved around drinks, calories, Prayag and him going to an aptly named place called Helsinki and of course some fine taunts to Sud. We finished our last delicious desert and left Big Chill.

The six of us packed ourselves into a single car. Or rather, it was Prachi / Prayag / Dhruvan and Sidharth in the back seat. Vaibhav and I sat comfortably in the front :). We drove off to Gupta market where Prachi / Prayag got down. We came back to Big Chill and Dhruvan left in his car. We then came back to Vaibhav's house where Sidharth's and my vehicles had been left earlier. After greeting Kanu, we should have left immediately except that Sud felt thirsty. Whats worse, he took the glass of water and settled down. Reluctantly, I too took a seat and some discussion started between Kanu, aunty and the three of us. Few embarrasing moments followed, with Sud imposing himself on the discussion. Fortunately, Vaibhav's father came in and I took the opportunity to stand up to greet him and also leave.

After memorizing the route, back to Noida, for the umpteenth time, I bid adieu to Kanu and Vaibhav and left. I did not seem to have deviated from the path since I did hit ring road and was back at home. I messaged Prachi / Prayag and Vaibhav that I was back in one piece and got immediate replies from everybody. Finally, I went to bed, uttered a "Wov!", closed my eyes and dozed off. One of the best days had passed by.

Hurray! nothing Works!

If you are wondering whether I have gone crazy, then you are quite right. Day before yesterday I had a very disturbed sleep. The only thoughts circulating in my mind were: first, whether I will be able to answer the volley of questions asked by the panel; second and more importantly, how will I convince the panel that I did put in genuine hard work but could not get any results.

Confused! Let me put matters in context. I had enrolled for an Independent Study project under Dr. Banerjee. Despite my best possible efforts under the various time and energy constraints, I got no results whatsoever. Zilch! Yesterday, I went to IIT prepared for the worst. There were other dual degree / B. Tech students making last minute changes to their code / presentations. All of us wrote our names, batchwise, on a paper. I was told there would be certain ordering in which names would be called out. As per that ordering, I was to be the last to present.

M. Tech students finish giving their presentations. Time for B. Tech students to present; but my name gets called out. I start the presentation and quickly move over to explain Kruppa equation and Modulus constraint methods. Thanx to Phani, I included these at the last minute. I tell that I implemented all methods but failed; also give some insight into why I failed. Fortunately, Dr. Banerjee is supportive. He tells that for the methods explored, it was more or less expected. Best part, the other profs in the panel dont ask much questions. Dr. Banerjee is also impressed with my presentation style (slideshow wise). Whats more, he remarks, that this is good work for an independent study. That made my day. I had got nothing to show, but things still worked out pretty well.

But what happened after that, was quite unexpected. Almost all students get “flayed” for not putting in good effort. Even though it did not matter much to me, it did make me realize how lucky I was. God seems to have graced me during the presentation, even though I would have really appreciated if He had graced me earlier too ;). Anyways the good part is that semester is over and I will get a much needed break. I am not bothered about what grade I get. Immediate goal is to get some results and do justice to Dr. Banerjee’s faith and support.

Lessons from Fashion

Yesterday night I watched the movie Fashion. And I was simply bowled over by it. I found everybody's performance superb, the music was great and the direction awesome. But this is not a movie review. Instead, I very much empathized with the protagonist, Meghna Mathur, and realized that there were lessons to be learnt (even though everything out there was fictional).

Like the protagonist, I have experienced highs and terrible lows in a short span of last one year. The good run started with me purchasing a bike last September. I then secured an admission in MS program @ IIT-D. My driving skills vastly improved; I made a good start to MS program and secured a decent GPA in the first semester, managed my finances well to buy a good laptop, wrote two great back to back skits for KalaKriti (even after one of them got rejected for stage enactment). Life could not have been better. It was perfect. I planned and things fell in place perfectly.

And then came the downturn in my life. I was caught unaware and have since been reeling from it. Around mid July, I unknowingly injured myself and could not raise my left hand even till shoulder level. A few weeks later, I could walk only with a horrible limp and sometimes needed support from others. Few other events could be more devastating for a person than sitting on a wheelchair at the age of 25 and being pushed around by a 55 year old father. And this was just the beginning. I rejoined office. Gaurav left the company, and the already delayed project sagged further. I made extremely slow progress with my MS course work and got near zero results despite sincere efforts. What's more, my laptop and even my clothes iron stopped working. It felt like my life had been jinxed. Repeated failures at my technical tasks, deviations from achievable timelines and lack of valid explanations for the failures further punctured my confidence, if any was left.

This is where the film touched me the most. The protagonist was completely devastated by the turn of events and her loss of control over her life. Her shattered confidence did not allow her to pursue anything. Only with the encouragement of her near and dear ones, was she able to return to her line of work. She had to start from scratch, face embarrassing situations, in terms of facing people whom she had let down or who had let her down. Despite these, and the personal and professional failures that she encounters once again, she perseveres and does not get bogged down. My confidence has not been shattered but it felt like I was heading at a steady pace to that critical point. At points I did consider the option of giving up my job and / or MS course work. My parents' daily words of encouragement helped in my sagging morale not deflating further, but nothing more. Lack of any harsh response from my colleagues or professors at my failures just added to the guilt. I knew that I was on my way down.

Surprisingly, a film taught me lessons, that I had heard umpteen times and could otherwise recite any time of the day but did not understand. I just had to give my 100 % at anything I did. Success or failure should not upset me. Getting upset would only make matters worse. Of course it is humanely impossible not to get upset, but you can help yourself lighten the impact. In retrospection, I can now say that the last few months might have been the worst yet, but they were worth it.

Finally, I can recall a conversation I had with Phanindra. I dont remember the context but I happened to say, "I am at the worst point of my life. Things cant get worse than this." To which he instantly replied, "Thats good for you. It means things can only get better. Good time is round the corner." The good time has come. Amen.

Lekha (Ansh 2)

Placements season for our seniors was good but not terrific. It was so not because our seniors were not good but because IIIT was still in the nascent stages and people in the industry did not know about IIIT. So when our placement season was round the corner all of us were nervous. Nervous because we were a larger batch and in some ways not as smart as our seniors. One of the initiatives (dont remember whose idea) was to prepare a CD, showcasing IIIT's talent, and circulate among the HR of the various companies. Kopos (Shashank) and others worked extensively in preparing this CD. I also wanted to make some contribution and again I used the power of writing. I wrote the lines that appear at the beginning of the multimedia content that was finally prepared. I dont have a copy of that CD and I guess nobody else has, but here are the lines:

Make a difference and conquer the world,
Out of school aspires the free bird,
But which institute to go, not know many,
It should be one, whose vision outbeat other any.

-------- A variation that I had written first --------

To conquer the world, enterprising and superfluous zeal,
To companies are qualities which strongly appeal,
But which institute to go, not know many,
It should be one, whose vision outbeat other any.

Uphaar

I was in my first year when Akka got married around seven years ago. Then I was definitely not as independent as I am now. But I am sure I was just as dumb or maybe dumber. Even though she got engaged in December and her marriage was in March, I could not think of anything to gift her. Mummy and Daddy selected some items which were to be gifted in my name. And yes I needed their help - in the worst case financially - to give Akka a marriage gift. But what surprises me now is that I could not think of anything to gift her. Nothing at all! Probably I was really really dumb. Or not so after all. When I am not able to think of something better, I fallback to my worst case options : writing poems. Plus point is that my poems are mostly successful in touching the person for whom they are written. And above all I dont have to pay for it ;). So here is the poem that I gifted to Akka and Bawa on their marriage.

Dear Kumar, my brother-in-law,
The term (brother-in-law) is big and that's a flaw.
A shorter, cuter name is BIL (brother-in-law),
But shall call you so, only if you will.

Thought of gifts ideal, but wildly,
Some weren't appealing, some were costly,
The gift I give, is not thought of well,
But the next time I give, it shall be very special.

Oh! But I did forget one thing,
Proudly I say, that I do bring,
And present to you, my sister as your bride,
What a better gift could you ask and could I provide.

Mitra

I wrote this poem on 6th December 2002. My fifth semester at college had or was about to end. I had already formed a special bond with these guys and had learned various qualities from them. Looking back, I cant help myself but thank myself that I wrote this poem ;). Though it does not (and I myself never can) describe their qualities or my feelings about them in words, the poem does state one thing very clearly: These guys are my best friends and I am very lucky to have them around. So, here it is.

Searched for friends hither and thither,
Since life without them was boring and bitter.
Joining IIIT did I hardly realize,
That it would be a blessing in disguise.

But still devoid remained the space,
Far and everywhere, I ran my gaze.
Fool that I was, I did not recognize,
Since those friends were right in front of my eyes.

Behave like a child and like one he play,
This is the guy who is called Vijay.
Talk about his friends and Chennai, day and night,
Argues he, till one accepts that he is right.

One might wonder, what he is good about,
But surely I can add here without a doubt,
He has immense patience and a heart of gold,
I love his trademark actions and to others when he scold.

Pramod for me was initially a mystery,
A cool guy, was always on the lookout for a party.
But when assignment submission or exam time descend,
He fires you with questions and nervous he tend.

But he crack sharp and witty jokes, night and day,
In the immensely tense moments, it helps me keep at bay.
And hate I that he was and is still so lazy,
But that it rubbed off my shoulders, I am happy.

The next guy in line is dear Kishore,
No matter how much cricket is there, he always asks for more.
Think he melodrammatically sing the songs,
When will he stop, is what everybody longs.

Unimaginable theories he come up with, by different things he link,
Sometimes makes me wonder, 'How does this guy think?',
He maintains high spirits and cares for one and all,
I know he will be there, when for help I call.

Excited he gets about anything, good or bad,
Vamsi is the name of this young lad.
Claims he not to study and sleep all day,
Thorough that he is, he teases us all and merrily play.

Sticks to his views, no matter what one say,
Attitude though sometime wrong, would like to have someday.
Terrific is his confidence and his curiosity insatiable,
Always do wonder, "When would I have these available?".

Concious of security is Kumar, the guy next door,
Keeps checking to see, if locked are the windows and doors.
Asks me to wake him early, though sleep he late in night,
Wake he never, but ask he again, no matter how much I argue or fight.

Enjoy I when he makes pun,
Time spent with him is always fun.
While talking with him, even my humour ooze,
Worries me the thought, that such a friend I might lose.

There are others, write about whom and let pages fill,
But unfortunately, I am limited by my writing skill.
Bored you might have become, so last statement I make,
Hope this is a beautiful dream, from which I never awake.